“Help Wanted”

By: Linear Ranger

Busy was not a strong enough word to explain how the week had been in the Ghostbusting business. Ryan had been going from one place to the next busting ghosts, with little, to no, rest in between. Not to mention, each case was far away from the next. Ryan was lucky if he managed to get four hours sleep during the night, before he and Slimer both were awakened, by yet another call. Needless to say, the town and surrounding areas were now convinced that ghosts did exist.

Finally, after a few days or so, Ryan had finally gotten caught up with all the back load of cases. He pulled into the Firehouse Tuesday afternoon, got out of Ecto-1, placed the Ghost Traps near the stairs for the basement, and walked, hunched over, to his desk. On his way, he noticed that Slimer was passed-out next to the phone, on one of the desks in the other office area. Ryan sat down into his desk chair and then let his head fall down onto his desk. The tired head hit the wooden desk with a loud thud. The sound of the thud startled Slimer. The green spook flung himself upward, picked up the phone receiver, and said in his unique tone, “Hello, Ghostbusters.”

Ryan raised his head and grinned before he said, “No Slimer, it was just me.” Slimer put the receiver back on the phone and slimed his way through the filing cabinets, back into Ryan’s office. If it wasn’t easy to tell from the ghost sleeping next the phone, the bags underneath Slimer’s eyes showed how hard, he too, had been working the past week or so. The pooped spook slid into a chair facing Ryan’s desk. Ryan propped his head up with his right hand and started, “I’m sorry Spud. I know you’ve been working just as hard. But I think it’s time we broke down and got some help. Would you agree?”

The ghost nodded his head and then passed out again. Ryan pulled out one of the drawers in his desk, grabbed the local phone book, moved his phone closer, and dialed. After a few short rings, someone on the other end answered and Ryan said, “Yes, I would like to place a help wanted ad.”

The next evening, the ad appeared in the paper:

Help Wanted

Currently looking for one office secretary and one business accountant.

Experience while a plus, not required at all.

No college education needed.

Some computer knowledge required.

Interviews will be held Friday.

8:00 AM to 5:00 PM

The Ghostbusters Headquarters at 1984 North Columbia Street

Bring prepared Resume to interview.

Leading up to the interviewing Friday, things had calmed a bit, but were not anywhere close to easy workdays. Finally, the day for the applicants had arrived. To ensure the day was free of interruptions, Ryan turned the answering machine on and had it on silent. Before starting, Ryan fixed himself and Slimer a breakfast of eggs and toast. After the two had finished their morning meal, Ryan started putting the dishes into the dishwasher. While doing so, he asked Slimer, “Hey Spud, go look out the window and see if there are any applicants lined up outside the door.”

So the green spook flew over to the window, but instead of just looking out and down, the ectoplasmic pet slimed his head out the window and looked down. Ryan finished putting the just-used dishes in the machine when Slimer few back over. Ryan turned to the ghost and said, “Well, is anyone out there.”

Slimer grinned, rolled his eyes, and said, “Oh, you might say that.”

Ryan being curious of what Slimer meant, walked over to the slime covered window, gave a disapproving glance to Slimer, lifted the window, popped his head out and looked down. That’s when he realized just what Slimer meant. There was a line of at least one hundred people down there. Ryan pulled his head back, closed the window, and said, “Holy cow Spud! We’ve got a full day’s worth.”

Slimer slowly nodded his head in agreement. Ryan looked at the clock on the wall as it neared eight o’clock. He said to Slimer, “Well let’s get this started.” With that, the two walked down the stairs to the main floor. Ryan took his place at his desk and Slimer at one of the front doors. Once the clock struck exactly eight o’clock, Ryan said, “Let the first one in.”

With those words it began. The first applicant to enter the Firehouse was wearing a very expensive looking three-piece suit and had a briefcase in his right hand. He also had greasy slicked back hair. He started out walking all stuck up, that was - until he saw who had opened the door for him. The gentleman saw Slimer looking at him and then he jumped at the sight of the ghost. Ryan had been watching these events unfold and was pleased when Slimer scared the man. The man recomposed himself and made his way into Ryan’s office. He and Ryan greeted each other and he introduced himself as Mr. P Tready. After the greetings were over, Mr. Tready sat down in a chair in front of Ryan’s desk and the interview began; however Ryan was not happy from the start. Mr. Tready basically took over the interview and acted like he was the most important person in the room. Not to mention he made some rude comments about a ghostbuster having a ghost as a pet. Ryan had to bite his lip over this and just grin. Finally, the stuck up applicant believed that he deserved the job because he had attained two degrees in college.

After Mr. Tready was finished bragging on himself, he handed Ryan his resume. This resume was completely overdone on costly paper. Ryan focused on the paper and acted like he was reading. After a minute or two Ryan said, “Well, thank you very much Mr. Tready for applying. I’ll let you know if you get the job.” The man was kind of shocked back into reality. He had expected Ryan to hire him on the spot. Mr. Tready just got up, shook Ryan’s hand, and said a curt thank you and left. All the way he had his head up in a cocky manner.

As soon as Mr. Tready had exited the doors, Ryan turned to the paper shredder behind his desk and fed the resume into the machine. While the paper was being destroyed Ryan said to himself, “Stuck up, pompous, self-consumed, rich, arrogant…” These words continued with some other, not-to-polite adjectives. However, Ryan stopped when the grinning Slimer, still at the front of the firehouse, coughed on purpose. Ryan returned to reality and told Slimer to let the next person in.

Well, things didn’t get much better from there. While there were not too many more Mr. Treadys, with their supreme college education and attitudes, there was a full range of disappointments. Some that were applying for the accountant job, were themselves in debt, but they still expected Ryan to trust them with his business’s financial matters. Then, while Ryan did not ask for too much experience, there were some that had no experience at doing anything at all and were just there because their parents were forcing them to get out and try to get a job. A few applicants were just there so that they could report back to the unemployment office, that they had indeed tried to get a job. This could be seen in how they acted with a non-care attitude. Plus, there were a select few that looked like they had promise, that was - until they told of how they could only work only one to two hours a week. Or another reason for these hopefuls to be turned away is, that while they had experience in accounting and secretarial work, they had no knowledge in computers what-so-ever. Plus, every applicant acted very frightened by Slimer, no matter how pleasantly he greeted him or her.

By three thirty in the afternoon, Ryan had gone through all the applicants. After the last one left, Slimer closed the door and announced to Ryan, “That’s all of ‘em.” Ryan repeated an action he had done before, he let his head drop down onto the top of his desk. Slimer floated over and slimed his way into one of the two chairs in front of Ryan’s desk that the applicants had used all day long. Ryan lifted his head and said, “You know Spud, I would have thought out of all those applicants, we would have been able to find at least one person for just one of the jobs.”

The two just sat in their chairs for a moment. However, both Ryan and Slimer’s stomachs growling for lack of food, soon broke the silence. They had not taken a lunch break during the day. Ryan looked down at his moaning gut, looked at Slimer and said, “How about you go get us something to eat from up stairs, Spud?”

The idea of food brought Slimer back to life, so-to-speak. He bolted out of his chair and flew up to the kitchen. Ryan laughed at the hungry ghost and turned to look at all the shredded resumes from the day. “A completely wasted day,” he said to himself. Ryan’s thoughts of the junk day, were soon broken by two voices and knocking. The voices said, “Hello? Is anyone home?” This was done while they had opened the door and were knocking on it. Ryan turned around and stood up to see who had called out. He looked at the front doors and saw two high school aged kids, one boy one girl, standing there with papers in hand.

Ryan stepped into view for the two and said, “Yes, can I help you.” The young man took a few steps forward with the young lady behind him, shutting the door on the way. The boy said, “Uh, yes - we were wondering if we could apply for the jobs you had listed in the paper, that is - if you’re not too busy or if the jobs have not been filled yet.”

Ryan had a better look at the two now. The boy was wearing a button up sports shirt with a tie and dress pants. The girl was wearing your typical teen girl clothes. Plus, she had, of all things, Pink styled hair. Ryan thought for a second, “Hey, what have I got to lose?”

“Sure,” Ryan said to the two, “Come on in.”

The two both made their way back into Ryan’s office. Ryan introduced himself and shook hands with the two. The young man was named Izzy Eins and the woman was Mimi Awa.

Mimi stated, “We’re very sorry. We just got out of school a while ago.”

They handed Ryan their resumes and other school records, while Mimi was apologizing. Ryan started looking over them and said, “You two attend Harbor Hills High?”

“Yes, we’re both seniors and will be graduating in two weeks,” Izzy said.

Ryan continued looking over the resumes, as he replied, “I graduated from HHH.”

The two sat politely while Ryan read their information.

“You two, both attend Technical Education Center here in town each morning?”

Izzy and Mimi gave each other a look of yes, but disappointment.

Mimi was the one to answer, “Yeah, but…well it’s not what we would call enjoyable.”

“Don’t worry, I know exactly what you mean,” Ryan replied.

He finished reading over the resumes and said, “I must say that I’m very impressed with both of you. You two are the best, and only good, applicants I’ve had all day long. You have a fair amount of knowledge in the areas you are applying for. You have great school records and grades.”

The two were a bit embarrassed by these compliments and were blushing.

“Thank you,” they both said in unison.

Ryan glanced over the resumes again. He saw everything, that he could only dream of, for people applying for the jobs. He shook his head again and said, “Well, I can not think of any reason why I shouldn’t hire the two of you. I usually have good read for people and I get a feeling that you are both good people with great attitudes and good work ethics. Am I right or wrong?”

Izzy was first, “No sir, Mr. Powers. We both have received many compliments from our teachers on our work.”

“We always take the day, in the best outlook possible, Mimi added.

Ryan had a great big smile on his face and started, “That’s great. Well, I guess that means that…” But Ryan stopped when he saw Slimer floating back downstairs with a plate of food. Slimer saw Ryan and Ryan winked for the ghost to come over.

Ryan turned back to Izzy and Mimi who had not lost their lock on Ryan’s words. Ryan then continued, “However, first I’d like you to meet Slimer.”

The Spud sat the food down on one of the empty desks, then he flew in between the two high school seniors, and their reactions were nothing like those of the rest of the day. Izzy’s words were, “Prodigious!” Mimi’s was a little less intelligent, but still great, “He’s so cute.” Slimer just grinned at the compliments, and then took a floating position over Ryan’s shoulder. Ryan finished, “Well that makes it official, you two are hired.”

Both of the two jumped up and began shaking Ryan’s hands and thanking him over and over again. After they had finished Ryan said, “Okay, one last question, can you two be back here tomorrow morning at nine o’clock in the morning?”

The two had a bit of a worried look on their faces as Izzy said, “Well sure, but…”

He was stopped as Ryan grinned, raised his hand and saying, “No don’t worry, you aren’t starting tomorrow. I just want to give you two the grand tour of the business.”

The look of worry left their faces and happiness returned. “No problem Mr. Powers. We’ll be here,” Mimi answered.

“Good,” Ryan said.

The group shook hands and thanked one another again. Then both Izzy and Mimi left. Ryan looked over at Slimer and said, “How about that, saved the best for last.”

The End